Gosh, do I need to hit the reset button! On myself. On my brain. On my habits. On my mothering my 8 and 11 year olds. On everything I judge, fear, and loathe.

The Jewish New Year is imbued with a special sense of reverence and celebration, in contrast to the Gregorian celebration of champagne and chaos which I admit is fun; but it is not as compelling for me since I became an adult — which was when I was 10 years old, it seems …

I was once taught that certain recovery programs use the notion of awareness and acceptance before action when we look to improve ourselves. As I head into this New Year, that’s what I am trying to focus on. Sometimes I get so attached to the outcome I want to see, I forget that the best way to have the best outcome in any challenging situation is to recognize the bigger picture and accept it before I try to change it.

Even the planning of the festivities we do as a family surrounding the Jewish New Year holds the potential for us wanting to rush to a solution.

“She wants to go to the early minyan? I don’t want to, but I guess I have to.”

“They don’t like that other couple that’s coming; I’ll disinvite them so no one is upset.”

“I’m not sure this prayer speaks to me … I must be misinterpreting it.”

We rush to fix the thing that irks us before we even remember to slow down and sit with it for a minute.

Why is doing something you don’t want to do — sacrificing your needs for the sake of someone else’s — an acceptable option for us? Time to hit reset.

Why is it so easy for me to disregard what I want for the sake of not upsetting someone else? Time to hit reset.

Why do we assume we are wrong or mistaken if we question? Time to hit reset.

The reset I seek allows me to see myself as an important part of my decisions and feelings. The rest I crave includes my will in the will of the universe — I am an actor in my life; I am not simply acted upon.

The reset I desire encourages me to sit with discomfort so that I have the opportunity to reason things out.

Every year I feel a bit wiser. At 41, I am grateful I have come so far. But I have a ways to go. Hitting the reset button this year will hopefully bring me closer to the tikkun of my psyche, which contributes to the larger tikkun of the world, which we all have the ability to be a part of, should we so choose it.

Chag sameach, gut yontif, and happy Rosh Hashanah!

Mayim Bialik is an Emmy-nominated actress and winner of a Critics’ Choice Award for her role on the hit CBS comedy, The Big Bang Theory. She also starred as the lead on the 1990s primetime hit, Blossom. Mayim holds a Ph.D. in neuroscience from UCLA, is the founder of Groknation.com, and is the author of three books, including New York Times best-seller, Girling Up: How to be Strong, Smart, and Spectacular.

This essay is part UJA’s High Holiday publication, Hitting Reset: A Fresh Start for 5778.